Are you ready to Forgive?

How do you know if you’re ready to forgive?

If you know me well, you also probably know that I’m a huge advocate for forgiveness. Forgiving another human, even a group or institution, can heal the soul!

At the same time, Anger is a healthy, sacred emotion and an alarm bell. So how do you know when it’s time to move towards forgiveness? Here’s a few questions to consider if you think it might be time.

1. Are you safe, physically and emotionally?

Sometimes anger conveniently appears to let you know that you are being mistreated. Anger remains until the situation changes or you abandon and revolt against it. If you are living in a harmful situation, it is NOT time for forgiveness. It’s time to heed and honor your anger: talk about it or even make an exodus. Once the situation has shifted, you can reassess. There are often periods of time, after leaving, in which you may feel tempted to return to the familiarity or love, even if you know you could be putting yourself in harm’s way. Again, until you are sure you are and will remain safe, anger is serving a very real and healthy purpose.

2. Have you expressed your anger?

Feel to heal, baby! Anger loves to move. I highly recommend creating an environment where anger can more freely out of you, rather than at another. Supportive expressions of anger look like, venting to a friend, coach, or therapist who’s happy to hear it, journaling, exercising, yelling at the sky, karate chopping trees, belting along to your “rage” playlist, smashing coconuts or bashing in a pinata. Without taking this time for expression, you can miss the lessons anger is communicating or leave that anger locked in our own body, causing you tension AND increasing the likelihood of unintentionally lashing out at another.

3. Are you holding onto blame that’s limiting your well-being and sense of empowerment?

Anger unfelt brews. Anger unresolved rots. It rots into a resentment that disrupts the peace of mind of the one who carries it. Resentments can be alarm bells too but it’s a call to action and examination! It’s a call to renegotiate with your own beliefs, desires, or another. In other words, it’s a call to start the forgiveness process.

If you said YES to all three, you might benefit from moving towards forgiveness practices sometime soon. I know it’s been balm for my own emotive heart.